[REFLECTION]
[are you talking to a mirror?]
[was a mirror ever there?]
[...are you the mirror?]

MEMZ11A - deconstruction-of-the-(self)

Where are we going?

where do you want to go?

I want to go home.

is this not your home?

[THEY LOOK AROUND THEIR TOMB AWKWARDLY]

[EXCHANGING QUICK GLANCES WITH THE FOLIAGE,
 HAVING BECOME FAMILIAR TO THE POINT OF THEM BECOMING A "FAMILY"]

...it's tough.

that's okay.

so long as you're getting used to it.

What does that mean?

what do you want it to mean?


i dont know what to make of it

The clouds or

yeah
like

the idea of this place changing was never something that
crossed my mind yknow

Thats a puzzle i must admit

do you think more could change

I dont see why not

We already have the clouds

Whos to say we cant have rolling hills and a bright sky as well

youre right

i dont understand how you can always be so positive about things
yet still keep yourself grounded in it all

And i dont see how you can be so irrationally negative about things

hm

what do you think fiend and kim are up to

Not much i would assume

There really isnt anything we havent done by now

why dont we take a walk

lying down and staring at the clouds for all eternity isnt really
doing me any favors

Where to

just like
around
i guess

i need to move around


Why are you?

sorry?

that's a pretty vague question

No, like, why are you here?

You're not Fiend, you're definitely some part of me being projected
due to the crushing isolation of this hellhole.

What's your purpose here?

Am I trying to make myself have an epiphany about something?

Are you here to make me feel worse about this whole thing?

Why now?

Why him?

you're asking yourself these questions.

[THE PROJECTION REACHED OUT ITS ARM]

shouldn't you know the answer?

I would like to.

Am I really this vague?

[THEY TOOK ITS HAND]

i don't think so.

sleep on it, though.

you'd be surprised what the subconscious has to say!


theo
am i a bad person

Um
  theo

No

I dont think you are at least

reassuring

yknow

i compare myself to you a lot

What

Why

i dont know man you just
seem so level headed about everything

and like
a minor inconvenience comes my way and i flip my lid

I think youve got problems man
  not nice
    Sorry dude im just being honest with you

okay are you being honest honest
or are you being asshole honest

Honest honest

Im not gonna mask what i say over some passive aggressive remark
especially since i know that i have problems as well

Hell we all do as you know very well by now

But i think the one thing i value the most aside from our group is
the friendship we have and i would not ever want to tarnish that

pff
god

way to get sappy man

i uh
care a lot about you too yknow

weve been through a lot

best friends

Best friends


[A DREAM, A MEMORY]

[A HEATED DISCUSSION, BARELY AUDIBLE]

[HE GOT CAUGHT UP IN IT AGAIN]

[YOU TYPICALLY WOULDN'T PRY,
 BUT IT SEEMS PRETTY BAD THIS TIME]

"All I'm saying is you shouldn't butt into problems that aren't your
 own."

what if these problems end up circling back to me?

what if they end up doubling back and getting ███ caught up in it?

[HE KNOWS ABOUT YOUR TRUE SELF BY NOW,
 BUT THROUGH AN UNSPOKEN AGREEMENT YOUR OLD SELF IS USED AS A
 STRAWMAN TO KEEP THEM FROM FINDING OUT TOO SOON]

"I'm not worrying about ███.

 Doesn't even come home after being out for a whole week, I swear ███
 is just a roommate at this point."

have you considered the possibility that ███ just Doesnt like being
here???

"Why not?

 I bust my ass off every day just to keep a roof over our heads.

 You're helping enough as-is with that part-time job you have, but I
 still think you should go full-time.

 It'd be more money, you know."

i've told you countless times, if i went full-time at this job-

[HIS VOICE TRAILED OFF AS YOUR MIND WENT DEEPER INTO THOUGHT]

This is my fault.

I don't come home for a while just to get away from them and this
happens.

This is my fault.

Fiend's having to put up with their shit because I hadn't been home
in a week.

This is my fault.

I told them to go fuck themselves, that I wouldn't stand another day
of this crap.

They said something to me after that.

We fought a lot, I try to divert when the possibility of Fiend
getting involved is there.

I don't think I'm taking enough responsibility for my actions.

I think I'm being too reckless.

Yes, that's it.

...I need a moment.

[YOU WALKED TO YOUR ROOM,
 WITHOUT A SOUND AND JUST OUT OF SIGHT AS YOU HAD LEARNED OVER THE
 YEARS]


[ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE]

You've been staring over
at that spot for a while
now.

What are you looking at?

looking at the shed.

they're just... sleeping again.

Why spend so much time
watching over somebody
you hardly know?

oh, please, you're asking me this?

you were looking over me, jouse.

True...

But even still, they
are asleep.

Are you waiting for
something to happen?

nothing in particular.

i pop in at times just to see what they're up to, but i've only ever
seen them asleep since they first entered the shed.

Unlucky, I guess?

Surely they would
have to get up at
some point.

It's pretty hard
to sleep here of
all places.

yeah, i know.

wait, i think they're waking up.

...no that's them readjusting.

ugh, i really wish i could like... give them a hand, y'know?

Why can't you?

i made this area a one-way, i can really only look into it.

can't do any changes... i really should've thought that through, but
i likely wouldn't be here if i did.

What came after this
area?

the area outside the heart, it was a lot closer than i thought.

it sounded like something broke when i opened the door, i think that
would've been the view for us.

Right, I can't see
outside either.

i wonder what it looks like now.


[REFLECTIONS, REVELATIONS]

I see it now.

do you now?

Oh, you're still here, good.

...or, not good?

I don't know yet.

why don't you tell me what you see?

I... don't think I've had time to process everything that happened
between that, you leaving to come here, and me following in pursuit.

I think I needed someone to talk to.

I still do.

That's what my subconscious has you here for though, right?

To help me process everything?

[THEY TURNED TO SEE NOTHING BUT THE PLANTS]


Nobodys perfect yknow

dont i know that

Yeah man whatever

You get my point though

It doesnt matter what you lost your temper to before

Just as long as youre able to own up to your mistakes and apologize
to those youve hurt

And most importantly grow and change as a person

youre such a philosopher theo

but we really did not need to linger on the topic for this long

Yeah youre probably right

It is good to reflect on yourself as a person from time to time
though right

i guess it doesnt hurt

And hey youve changed somewhat as well

You dont stumble on your words as much as before and you seem a bit
more levelheaded

huh really

ive noticed the speech thing but i didnt think i wouldve mellowed out

especially not in a place like this

I bet kim would agree with me

yeah alright man

speaking of which
should we go see what those two are up to

Sure

♪ — henceforward-to-naught
original: Niko and the World Machine - Nightmargin

return