[UNSTOPPABLE FORCE] [i cant see what you do] [my regrets obscure my vision] [if i can understand myself first then maybe i can understand you too] MEMY2C - the-critic i really truly hate it here everywhere i look is a constant reminder of how badly i messed up most of them unrelated to you but it feels like these versions of the jouse are just tormenting me digging up regrets it makes me sick like really physically sick i need to keep asking theo and fiend to take a breather it gets to a point where i wonder is it worth it to keep going if im going to keep being like this i almost fainted one time when we were heading through that gray and dark brown variant the one with the brittle keys something about the messages on them they werent for me i was not welcome here i dont know if its doing this on purpose or not i dont know what i did to deserve this well no i know i deserve this but is there a way for me to forgive myself for all ive done to the people i care about to you am i a good person █████ i would ask you this myself but youre not here right now i would ask theo but he seems preoccupied with his own things right now i would ask fiend but but where is he theo says he stays down on that floor with the couch and mirror maybe its not affecting him as badly as its getting me i dont know if the jouse is forcing me to go through some personal developments or have an epiphany or whatever but metaphorically or not i need to get through whatevers making me feel this way maybe then this pain in my chest and the back of my head will stop i asked theo how he was holding up during one of our breathers he said to me i havent been feeling much honestly just some brain fog every now and then but nothing too bad but i can see it in his eyes the way he looks to the right the way he bites at the chapped skin on his lips hes lying to me what is this like for him i hope to god that it isnt as bad as this what would this be like for kim for fiend or did you have to go through this too █████ did you have to deal with the feeling of being shot seventy times in the chest the feeling of slowly losing yourself as you delve deeper into your escapism paradise i hope wherever you are youre doing better than i am right now and i hope that we can find you so i can apologize apologize for every time we fought apologize for every time i made you feel excluded apologize for every time i probably made you hate me apologize for every time i felt like i hated you apologize for apologize for being barry the flawed fucked up barry that doesnt seem to get better the flawed fucked up barry that cant improve as a person no matter how hard he tries no im im being too hard on myself now my thoughts are so scattered my minds a mess i i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror while heading upstairs i almost didnt recognize myself i thought i saw who i was before but i dont know who was in the mirror for a second there but it wasnt me it wasnt the barry who kept building walls inside his own closet it wasnt the barry that had to face the horrors of vulernability to help confronting who he really was it wasnt i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror while heading upstairs and i saw a monster holding a shard of opaque purple glass staring at me with a lost expression as if trying to figure out who i was
♪ — broken-mirrors-bring-bad-luck-(or-so-they-say) original: Oppressive Gloom - saiiko2 return