[A MESSAGING APP, A GROUP CHAT OF THREE]
[THE DESERTER ASKS A QUESTION IN A CALL,
 LEFT UNANSWERED BY THE INTERROGATOR]
[THE CRITIC GETS THEIR ATTENTION]

MEMY1 - (work-in-progress/temporary/simplified)-identity-of-the-owner

I'm sorry- what?

I was reading something.

you were asked a question

uh, yea-
  What'd you ask?

oh, it wasn't really anything important.

probably stupid, but how did you know you were... like, nonbinary?

That's not a stupid question, Serra, don't worry about it.

It's a lot of factors, people will try to push the "born in the wrong
body" narrative as objective truth when, if anything, it is an
idealized version of the larger trans experience.

But- ah, don't take my word on any of this, I'm by no means an
expert on like, gender science or whatever.

For me though, I didn't really notice my dysphoria until I began
to question my identity.

I had always just accepted the hand that was dealt to me, but I never
really "liked" it as much as I just "tolerated" it.

...I don't want to pry, but... are you questioning?
  no!
  no, i'm not questioning.

just curious, is all.

but, uh... what was it like for you, barry...?

oh dont even get me started
it was miserable

i hated life before but i
didnt really
do anything
about it
yknow

im not really in the mood to get into details though
i got off my shift like two hours ago and im
pretty tired

yeah that's fine, i get that.
  youre unemployed
    whatever!

though

why are you bringing this up now

does this tie back to your whole like
thoughts about ditching this app for your own selfhosted bullshit
because i dont think thats realistically going to go anywhere
given how much of a chokehold this thing has on
so many peoples daily lives

thank you, barry, for not making this about gender... cough, kim...
  You were asking for it.
...but, no, this has nothing to do with that.

it's just that i'm most comfortable around you two, barry
understandably so given how long i've known you, but... y'know?

and given that most regular people wouldn't pay any mind to something
like this...
  implying that kim and i arent regular people
    no, you know what i mean, i- aghhh...

it's hard to put into words, so let's just leave it here.

if you say so

Yeah, sorry about... immediately questioning, that was weird.

Not to try and justify it, but you know how it's been here recently.

i have already forgiven you.
  why did you say it all ominous like

anyways.

i should... probably get to bed now!

it's late!

It is?
  yeah
  me too
  i work closing shift tomorrow so

i will also
be going here

Ah, I might as well go too, I'm sure I'll find something to do until
I pass out.

you really need a better sleep schedule, kimberly.

Full name, serious tonight are we?
  whatever!

i'm leaving the call now!
  fine me too
  i'm clicking the button now!
  me too i guess
  i'm hovering over i-
  ye-

[AND THEN THERE WAS ONE]

...ah.

[AND THEN THERE WERE NONE]


[THE DESERTER STARED AT THE CEILING,
 LYING IN BED, LEFT ALONE WITH THE THOUGHTS]

...nah, it's not happening.

after all, the image of that one game mascot said not to trust your
thoughts about life after 9 pm.


[THE CRITIC POWERED OFF HIS COMPUTER,
 AND STARED AT THE BLANK MONITOR]

i wonder what green boy did today

i havent messaged him in a while

i hope he
doesnt think i forgot about him this soon into our friendship


[...AND THE INTERROGATOR, ALREADY ASLEEP AT HER DESK]

[THEIR ROOMMATE JUST COMING HOME FROM WORK,
 DRAPING A BLANKET OVER HER]


[ELSEWHERE, A RUSTY KEY IS IN TRANSIT]

[NO RETURN ADDRESS, LETTER ENCLOSED]

[A COPY OF SOMEONE'S WILL]

♪ — umbrella-term
original: t3 - pittsbourne

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