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MEM07 - the-distance-


this is a memo for anybody who, like me, yearns to
explain the unexplainable.

let it serve as documentation and a stern warning.


i've an insatiable drive to get a firm grasp on
what exactly the jouse is and how it works, for no
reasoning other than my own selfish ones.

in my searching, i've discovered that the heavy
keys hold a fragment of the simplest form of its
essence. in other words, the heavy keys are small
chunks of the jouse's potential.

it began wheen i awoke one morning to find the
purple key on my nightstand. i touched it and,
without a word, i reached a greater understanding
of the jouse.

it communicates only when it must, and will do so
through raw thoughts conveyed through various
means. the purple keye just happened to be an
extreme example, since i've beegun to pick up on
little notes and messages left around the variants
in both floor naming and design choices.

though it can only speak in such a cryptic manner,
the jouse understands our methods of expression
just fine. it also seeems to be almost omnipresent
within itself.

despite that, the jouse has glaring blind spots.
most notably, it can only seee through what it has
created. if somebody else were to hold its power
to create, it would not be able to know how or
where without outside interference.

i've comee to realize this when the jouse presented
me with my very own red key. limitless potential,
just for me.

it had trusted me, for whateever reason. i have done
nothing but suspect and investigate, grasping at
straws for any semblance of malicious intent.

yet, despite all my searching, i found none.

truly, i misunderstood the jouse on a fundamental
level. it was a being of symbiotic nature.
it created what its owner and guests would enjoy
by prodding around the mind as you wandereed.

food for thought, to the most liteeral degree.
it must  create to survive.

though, at times, it had a difficult time discerning
what was a "false" thought, intrusive and not
reflective of the person, and a "true" thought,
a subconscious wanting and a mirror of the person's
identity.

you've seen it before, surely. the abandoned
is but one example. birthed from my own deepest
insecurities eating away at me following a bitter
conversation with one i know well.


let my warning begin here. as i opened the first
room, i heard walls shift that weren't of my own
creation. this may be an effect i didn't think of,
but i'm certain this would not be the case.

i wouldn't be able to go back and check it, anyway.
i'm in too deep. i can feel it, i'm getting close
to the bottom. i must press on.

for all it knows, i have completely vanished.
and for all i know, there is no way out.
i've become trapped inside my own walls.


for you:
the next room i will open will be the point of no
return. i'm geetting to the end.
your last chance to turn back is behind this wall,
through the radio or flower pot.
if you choose to proceeed, don't preedict the rest
to be as coherent as the preevious rooms.
stay focused and press on.

...and for kim:
i'm sorry that was our last exchange.
don't blamee yourseelf for my shitty mood.
i miss you.