[WHO SAYS MEME ENTRIES CAN'T BE SERIOUS?]
[when did you start being yourself?]

MEME9 - we-got-people-out-here-dying-who-never-died-before

there's a place i remember spending a lot of time in.

it was a sprawling, nightmarish labyrinth that i would enjoy getting
myself totally lost in.

however, in one or two small points of this labyrinth, was an area
lit with red ceiling lights and a certain song playing in the space.

i would spend hours at a time there completely alone, not doing
anything but sitting in silence and taking in the atmosphere.

how could such a hellish place hold such a beautiful zone?

i would have the layout of this labyrinth memorized in the back of
my mind.

whenever i entered, i always knew which direction to turn.

i memorized the fastest route to the red room.

the song lodged itself in my mind.

i remember falling asleep one night, in my own bed, the song playing
from my memory.

how could something like this make me feel this way?

places like these, not necessarily the red room, have always made me
feel a sense of security or safety.

maybe i needed to lose myself.

after all, i've always struggled with my identity.

anything i chose to label myself with never really fit.

maybe there's something wrong with me, i can't figure myself out.

there are points where i feel confident in who i am, but a lot of
the time those thoughts quickly fall apart.

transitioning helped, but only a little bit... the thoughts
stemming from that aren't nearly as bad now, but i've come to
realize that my problems aren't the most important thing in the
world right now.

if anything, my problems are lesser because of who i am... it
doesn't feel like a great thing to think about.

though sometimes i feel like it's performative, like i don't feel
as if this is truly me... am i really like this, or do i just
"want to be" like they told me?

...there are points where i regret coming out, but if i never had
then i wouldn't be here holding these rusty keys.

this house will be a nice change of scenery, it's in the middle
of nowhere.

maybe i'll invite kim and barry over at some point, but i really
need to get my head straight first.

i move in tomorrow.

♪ — top-ten-redroute-characters-whove-sworn-(six-will-shock-you)
original: nevermind, everything's okay - dreamcorp.

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